7 weeks...

and a bit. ive been a bit late with the posts eh. i know i know. but my monday was pretty packed. so i went to see you as per usual. ben came with. you met him once. after my show. you guys would have gotten along. it was a nice sunny day. not too hot. seems like every monday is a nice day. makes my job easier when i visit. then went by your place. your dad was out. your mom was in. and shes doing a bit better. chatted with her for a bit. and realized that doing a bit better is still not doing well at all. you were the glue that held the family together. she might have been the rock to keep the family from falling apart. but you were what held it together. it was nice just talking to your mom for a bit. your dad has a lot of energy and when they are both together, your mom doesnt speak much. but this time. your mom and i just talked. and it was good. and she told me she dreamt you. so you have been visiting her. but do it more frequent. let her know youre ok. show more obvious signs. tell her to get out more. tell her to do all the things that she should have done, and now she can because you would want her to do it. anyway. thats about it. ive been living around the mel lastman square for the longest time but finally went down to the actual square and sat a while. it was then that i realized i will really miss toronto. packing has been a realization for me. and not much time is left. i have to say my good byes and leave this place. at least for a little while. i dont think i'll be able to see your monument before i go. so it will be a while before i get to see it. but i'll get someone to take pictures or something. anyway. i got lots more packing to do tomorrow. so i'll say bye for today. adam. you are still dearly missed.

6 weeks

hey. so ya. im again late with the posting. but its no big deal. i went by your grave and they finally filled it in and paved it with some grass. finally looks better now. and the flowers there look good. now all thats missing is your head stone, which i know they are working on. but ya. it was good to see they finally did something about it. went by to your parents too. showed them the tattoo i got. and your dad loved it. and your mom liked it. haha. was telling them about where i got it, and where they should go to get what they wanted to get. your dad is all about the passion and keeping your memory alive. i think thats kinda with all of us. your mom seems better. she was up and walking around and talking to me. just keep doing what youre doing and watch over them and they will be able to make it through. the police arent doing much though eh. 6 months for the report? fuck that. they better work faster. but ya. the tattoo took 2 hours to do. it hurt by the end of it and although i wanted to add more stuff. i just left coz i reached my limit of self induced pain. haha. but i'll get it finalized when i go back and see a good artist and a good shop. your brother is finally getting on those cds for me. and after that, i still have to burn and copy and send to our group too, but i should be able to get that done before i leave. it still doesnt seem like youre gone. just seems like you havent called in a while...and i dont know when it will actually kick in. anyway, long day today, will write you again soon. miss you. bye adam.

5 weeks

hey. ya ya. i know. i forgot to write this last night. fact is, i remembered after i turned off my computer. anyway. so i went on my usual routine to visit you and your family. and at your grave, which has caved in more than usual due to the ridiculous weather that weve been getting, someone that works there said hi to me. and apparently, your dad has talked to him about you and the guy said its really sad what happened. i agree. i see someone left you a cross and a whistle. not sure what the whistle is for, but im sure its to make noise like you did before you left. then i went by to see your parents. your mom is even more broken up than usual. you gotta get her back on her feet man. she needs to get out of the house and get back to her routines if possible. send her a sign, a dream or something. she needs it badly. your dad is doing a little better, at least hes up and talking to visitors. he also sometimes talks about not having anything to live for etc... but i kept reminding him that you would have wanted him and everyone else to live happily. to live life to its fullest potential. like you did. i know its not as easy said then done, but i think they have to force themselves to be positive. mourn you. but also honor you with living life with a passion. the same passion that you lived with. i think thats important. your brother bought you some kobe shoes. with like symbolic numbers on them. its pretty crazy. coz i know you would have loved those shoes. i think they might be a bit small for you though....not sure. but ya, i would also like it if your bro could get moving on those cds. i would like to get it spread out to our people you know. so everywhere we go, we rockin them beats. well watch over your family. they need it the most. i'll come by again next week as usual. by that time, i'll have the tattoo done and it will be permanent. i'll talk to you later adam. miss you.