what is this...

...feeling?
i feel as though i dont know what im doing.
what am i doing?

ive been so caught up with the mundane routines and responsibilities that ive lost track.
lost track of what im doing.
what am i doing?

dealing with others problems have become a way to procrastinate.
procrastinate from dealing with my own.
procrastinate from my list of 'to-dos'.
what do i accomplish?
what am i doing?

procrastination only leads to a build up of junk.
like a closet stuffed full of unnecessary shit. just waiting to explode.
i just opened the door.
i just got overwhelmed by the out-pour of this unnecessary shit.
shit that wouldnt be there if i had dealt with them to begin with.
so why dont i deal with things when it starts?
what am i doing?

why do i insist on procrastinating when the smarter thing to do is to handle my business?
reason#1
because i have no energy. because im tired. i always feel tired. ive felt tired for a long time now.
and i dont know how to stop feeling tired.
what am i doing?

i dont know how to sleep. actually. i dont know how to remain asleep.
and i need to sleep.
sleep gives me energy and optimism to deal with all this shit.
sleep gives me an awake and alert mind to handle this world i live in.
but sleep seems to always elude me.
and i dont know how to capture it.
what can i do?

what am i doing...

...im not sleeping

give me sex. then give me sleep. and i will give you a world worth living in.