Insomniac Blah...#2

awake, cant sleep. things on my head i cant get off. trying to mask it, cover it up with anything and everything. not working, treating symptoms and not the underlying problem. mainly because the problem cant be treated. a problem in the past. a wrong committed, a knocking on the door at night, a very moment not to be proud of. not something that can be undone, but maybe smoothed over? not sure. might happen. but for now i';; take symptom pills. usually a resolution requires the co-operation of parties involved but that isnt that easy to come by these days. attempts have been made but nothing of meaning done. masking problems with problems, a vicious cycle to be exact. writing seems to be a temporary remedy for a poison implanted directly in the heart. thats why i seem especially literary these few days. a floating sensation felt, waiting for time to past and wash things away. but something so deep may take a while to dilute. questioning the reasons for my being. sure everything you go through makes you who you are. sure when all is said and done, you can always say that everything was the result of well...everything. but hindsight does nothing. so why are things the way they are? if something is destined to happen to you, is there anything you can do to stop it? but if you can, are you able to actually call it destiny? hindsight yet again. conclusion: so one never really knows the reason for existence until existence is over. cool eh?