inquiry of introspection...chapt 1

so have been thinking about lots of stuff recently...dont know why...maybe its coz im a philospher...maybe its coz im close to leaving this dreadful city of freezing death and scortching heat...well not really leaving yet until j gets into university or college...but ya...should be done school by the end of this year...people that have done school always say that they wish to go back...they miss those days coz working sucks...well i dont think so...i mean...i cant wait to get out of this routine of going to school and learning the same type of things...maybe my personality is more suited for the work environment...or just a different city...or maybe its just that living here i have this 190ish pounds of responsibility and am starting to get bored of it...not that i dont have fuzzy feelings for him...just that i dont feel like taking care of someone full time right now...not until i start making babies anyway...but back to the point...gonna change life phases soon...hopefully...so have been doing lots of thinking mainly about what im gonna be doing...how im gonna do it...where i wanna be maybe 2 years down the line...all those things and many others...and this is just a documented stream of conciousness...similar to the ones my hot highschool english teacher told us to do...which i will in turn tell my students to do when i teach...really want to change some lives...maybe for the better maybe for the perverted...uh...i mean worse...thinking back to all those people that have influenced my life...i would say that besides my parents fucking me up...my teachers would be next in line for the responsibility of this crazy man...oh sorry...crazy sexy man...there are so many things i want to do and i already feel so far behind compared to my constituents so i have lots of making up to do...also known as lots of travelling not to mention those occasional drunken orgys...being a shining example of a man for my brother is nice and all but come on...i feel like ive been trapped and weighed down by unreasonable...well not totally unreasonable responsibility that i need to get some air...well cant wait to read this again tomorrow and realize how much incoherent gibberish ive typed