Angry blah...

an angry boy am i, angry at everything from life to traffic, from parents to weather, from brother to myself.
angry at life because there is no end, no real purpose i know, no point to live if your not living.
angry at parents because they are absent, no father, a mother in trouble that her child must bear. giving her child responsibilities not suitable for his age, trapping his life in a cage.
angry at my brother because i am his parent and brother, because those 2 roles cant and shouldnt mix together, because i have to teach him to have fun, but restrict his every bad decision, because the absent parents couldnt do a good job and left the dirty work to me, because he doesnt yet know the evils of the world and i must protect him from that yet still trying to do what i can to make him understand it.
angry at myself because the reasons for me being alive are the very things for my anger, because i love my mom and her sacrifices for me, and her strength so i do everything in my power to help her whether it makes my unhappy or not, trying to live up to her expectations no matter how unrealistic and unreasonable, trying to sacrifices me for her. angry at myself because i love my brother so much, love him more than myself, but boy doesnt see what this man is doing, boy doesnt see the sacrifices this man makes, he only sees someone who is his friend sometimes but an enforcer of law most of the other time, because boy doesnt see my sacrifices, so he doesnt see "me" at all. angry at myself also because i have not the strength to overcome but the strength to complain, angry because i have not the intelligence to know what i should do, angry because i do not own the wisdom to make the right decisions. angry because that is the only thing i can feel these days, but scared because this may be my life permanently one way or another.